Friday, March 03, 2006

My Story...

My weight problems started during my first pregnancy, in 1998. Up until then, I'd been a tiny size 6, and could eat whatever I wanted without gaining a pound. I never *truly* exercised, unless you count dancing around in my room to my music. ;-)

With my pregnancy, I was going through a great amount of stress, plus I'd injured myself and couldn't work. I lost a lot of my "friends" during this time period, so I was lonely, afraid, and bored. I sat around in front of the television, watching soap-operas, and snacking.

My family (and my doctor) kept commenting on my weight gain. They told me to go easy on the snacks, and drink more water. I didn't listen. I thought, "I'm eating for two! It's okay!" Boy, what a lie! LOL

By the end of the pregnancy, I'd ballooned up to a size 18 -- the heaviest I've ever been in my life -- and I was absolutely horrified! I'd thought I was fat when I was a size 6 (thank you, wonderful media!) -- so you can just imagine what I felt with those extra 60 pounds on my frame!

I started walking when my son was about 8 months old, and I took off 10 pounds in a month. This was reassuring, but not comforting.

By the time of my second pregnancy, two years later, my life was a little more stable, and I'd plateaued at a size 12.

With the second pregnancy, I knew not to "eat for 2", but I still ended up gaining 35 lbs. This put me back to a size 18, afterward.

I tried diet after diet, but nothing lasted longer than 1-3 weeks. Some plans didn't even last a day! LOL I just don't like to be told what to do, what to eat, or how much/little I can have! I felt really restricted or deprived, so I always gave up and went back to my ways.

After my daughter was born, we went through a time of serious financial stress. The bank foreclosed on us, forcing us to move from our home within a month -- talk about STRESSFUL! But, God provided, and we moved from our large, 2-bedroom, to a tiny 3-bedroom home. There were *some* blessings hidden in this time of trial!

5 years after the birth of my daughter (it was now 2005), God led me to find the hunger-fullness method for weight-loss, via a popular book. Reading it, I couldn't believe it could be this simple! "You mean, I just have to eat when I'm hungry, stop when I have had just enough, and I can lose weight? I don't even have to exercise? Yeah, right!"

In just two days of following this method, though, I lost 2 pounds! I seriously thought my scale was lying to me. But, when I continued to see the scale move down over the next few weeks, I started to believe that this could possibly be the answer I'd been seeking to my weight problems!

Reading the book, though, raised some little red flags for me ... some of the theology seemed "off" -- after all, this was supposed to be a Christian weight-loss program, and yet, something wasn't sitting right.

At this time (3 weeks into following the principles of hunger-fullness), an online friend sent me a link to an article ... and I was enlightened. The author of the book I'd been reading was a supposed "cult-leader"! I immediately wanted to burn the book (though, I couldn't do that, as I LOVE books!) I was devastated!

Luckily, God also included the name of yet another hunger-fullness program -- a GRACE-oriented one! -- in this same article, so I wasn't left hanging. Mind you, I was reluctant to try it, as I didn't want to be so easily duped, again!

Thank the Lord, though, the new program was MUCH more freeing, and I continued to release weight as I listened to my body's natural cues of "hunger" and "fullness".

Six months later, I was just 5 pounds from my goal -- I had become a size 8! (something that, in the depths of my "dieting days", I never thought I'd see again!)

Unfortunately, with the Holiday season upon me, I gave myself permission to snack when I wasn't hungry, which just snowballed until I'd completely let go of the principles I'd learned, and I put back all of the weight I'd released. :-(

But, God is faithful. He has used my "falling off the wagon" to teach me that "failure is only failure if you don't keep trying". So, I'm pressing on, and I know that I will get the hang of this again.

I also learned that I never dealt with the emotional side of why I overeat, so it was like I'd put a bandage on a wound that needed stitches. It didn't really "fix" my problem. So, now I'm working on my emotions, too (and I just found a really cool, helpful website that I think is REALLY going to help!)

Anyway. I'm in this for life! It's the best, most FREEING thing I've ever found, and it works! Praise God, I'll never have to diet again! No more roller-coaster. ;o)


The Lazy Organizer said...

Way to go! I blog about Intuitive Eating too. Keep in touch!

mizbooks said...

Thanks, Lara! I'll be sure to check out your blog! :o)

CYULOVE said...

Hello Mizbooks-

I am encouraged to find your blog because it is so recent (2006) and you are working the program right now and not three years ago(an old blog found on the internet).

I made a change, the last week in December 2005 when my weight reached an all time high of 275 pounds on a 5 feet and 7 inch body frame. I started loosing weight through low carb eating and lots of exercise and am now, just under 240 pounds in June 2006. In the last month however, I have not exercised and have been eating very large portions of everything I could not have on my low carb plan (this combination will help you gain weight very quickly - but for some reason I have continued to loose slightly).

A couple of years ago I went into a local Christian bookstore here in Memphis, Tennessee and bought the Weigh Down book. Immediately after buying and reading the first half of the book, I started on the plan and called the 800# to find a local group in the area. When I went, I was turned off by the experience because the other women kept saying I needed to attend Remnant Fellowship in Nashville, so I could meet Gwen. I told them, I belonged to a church already and was not interested in going to Nashville (to church), they began to pressure me to join the program. I never did go back to that meeting per I researched the organization on the internet and found information that contradicted with the foundation of my Christian faith. However I did try the program and found it to be very effective per I lost nine puonds within three days (no exercise).

Now I want to start the program again but without all the high preasure, cultic non-sense. The information you have shared, along with your story has encouraged me greatly. I am waiting on the -0-(empty)to get started today and will continue to visit your blog for more information about the new way of eating. Thanks - Again!



SewAnyway said...

I just heard about intuitive eating last night at a women's conferece. The topic was about our body image and who we listen to and believe: Culture or Creator. I was totally blown away with how great the evening was. I am so glad I went. Well, I had to go here to your first entry to see where you started. As I read your story - it seemed like I was reading my own story. I also was 110#, then got prego and when it was all said and done 182#! It has been a miserable 10 years. I have a nine year old daughter. I want to be a good example for her and want to glorify God. I live in fear and use my body fat as armour. It is sinful and I am so glad to now know that there is really, truely a bibilcal way to see myself and my relationship with food. I am so glad I found your blog and look forward to learning more. Thank you for sharing your very encouraging story!

Ellie said...

Wonderful story, PTL!